Man, where to start. Last time I posted I was chillin’ in this lil room in my homeboy’s basement working my brains out and hoping I found a place to stay after my exodus from Harlem. Yeah, it was pretty tough. But armed with my supremely positive attitude, an always strong work ethic and a good group of friends (Monte’, I owe you big time, man. And Graham, you’re the man, dude), I was able to finish my plan and get back to my beloved BK. And I love my new place. Like, really. And my new roommate is the bestest. I think the first week all I did was smoke, drink really good wine, eat fruit and just chill the fuck out. From the beginning of the year, as most people know, it’s been pretty rough, and I hit a really bad patch. Doubly so cause the first anniversary of my uncle Q’s death passed as well… and I still miss him. Ha, but I know he would just tell me to suck it up and do what I gotta do, so I did. And I’m glad I did, because it has all been worth the craziness I put myself through to get here. Thanks to all who helped me get through. You know I don’t forget these type of things.

The summer is going well, man. I’ve been takin’ some blows and I may lose a friend or two in the process, but the funny thing is it seems that whatever powers that control this universe we live in have seen fit to grant me with a couple new ones. And yeah, it’s still still early and all that, but things seems to be cool so far, so I’m gonna enjoy it for what it’s worth you know?

So anyway, I’ve takin a fancy to the Magic Johnson Theatre on 125th. I can’t really explain it but it’s something about it I really dig. So I mosey on over there to catch a flick (Transformers as it were, which was surprisingly good by the way. ARE YOUR USERNAME LADIES MAN 217!! hahha), and afterwards I hit up a bookstore cause I’ve just been in a mood to read lately. So I puruse the aisles and after I make a couple of selection, I go to pay for my things and I meet this cute island sista at the register. Now, I’m not sure if she is just making conversation or whatever, but she starts asking me questions about random things and you know, just being pleasant. And, honestly, I need some pleasant in my life right now, so it was cool. I was laughin at her cause she was droppin books and apologizing, and I’m like ‘it’s cool, sweetie, it’s cool’. No, I didn’t get her name, and I didn’t even consider asking her for her number but it was a nice lil moment. I may never see her again, but I will say this. Ha, bookstores are pretty cool to. Next time I’ll try to be all smart lookin’ and wear my glasses, hahahaha!

I am an imperfect being. I am arrogant, selfish, self righteous and smug. This is not to say I am a bad person, but, I guess I would say in a biblical sense, I am a flawed individual (ha, or even a heathen as I am fond of saying). I would imagine this contributes to my lack of people I would call friends. Of course I have my own ideas about why this is, but we can start here. However, of the friends I do have, I really only require two things. Respect and honesty. It has been told to me many times that while these things are simple, they are difficult as well. And perhaps they are, but this is my standard. This is my Thing. Some of my friends just inherently have these qualities. Some learn them along the way. Sometimes though, along the way of our everyday living, the opposite happens. These qualities, for whatever reason are lost. The very foundation that I build my friendships on crumbles. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is probably one of the Great Hurts of my life here on the blue marble.

I wish I knew of a way to rebuild this foundation, to somehow brick and mortar these traits into a the make up of a friendship so that they would never go anywhere. But as we all know, Life does not work like that. Things change, and sometimes, not always for the better. Sometimes… things just fall apart. But at least you still have the memories of happier times. A small solace, I know, but, in the end, it does help. Ha, not always immediately, but yeah, it does help. I would like to thing that things of this nature are not permanent, as I am a big believer that the only constant is change. But, you never can tell. You can only control the things that you do. The rest, you just kinda deal with as you go along. I would like to think the sum total of the person that I am and the net account of my actions outweights my less pleasant traits. But sometimes, it doesn’t. And all I can do is accept it and move on. Maybe some day it will get easier.